Steady...

There’s this great Baz Luhrmann poem that was turned into song called “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)” One of the lines in the song goes like this:

“Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.”

I cling to the thought of that! Here I am 39 years old, and I feel like I’m 17, still trying to figure out what I want to do when I grow up. Sometimes I feel bad about this. I look at my life, and I wonder why I don’t have it all figured out yet. This last year I’ve come to a realization. I may not know what I want to be when I grow up, BUT I do know what my life’s ambition is - to please God. Simple but true. I think I’m finally getting to a place where I’m realizing that that’s enough. I don’t have to have my life mapped out. I’m not a failure. It’s okay for me to wake up each day, and offer myself to God for whatever he may want. To follow him, no matter what that means. I was praying the other day, and I started thinking about Enoch. This is what Genesis 5:23-24 says about him –

“Enoch lived a total of 365 years. Enoch walked steadily with God. And then one day he was simply gone: God took him.”

That’s the kind of relationship I want to have with God. As I read those verses, I just imagine two people walking on a path together - Enoch and God. Notice that it says he walked steadily with God. Here’s the dictionary definition:

Steadily – Even, or regular in movement, Free from change, Constant, Habitual

I think that Enoch’s relationship with God was his focus. It wasn’t something that was optional. He ALWAYS walked with God – Period.

I like to think that the reason that God took Enoch was because he wanted to be with him. He didn’t want to wait. He enjoyed his relationship and company so much that he just decided to take him home.

Sometimes I’m right there walking with God, in step with him in every way. But I also know that I’m easily distracted! Something else will catch my eye, and before I know it I’m excusing myself to go off and put my focus someplace else. I’m really trying to learn how to change that. I’m trying to really get that there’s nothing else in this world that deserves my focus like my relationship with God does. I desire to have a constant, habitual and steady relationship with him. I’ve been seeking change in my life, and that’s where it comes from. From me being intimate with the creator, and letting him change me from the inside out.

Resolve...

2009 was not a great year for me. To be blunt…it was kind of crappy. I went through some major transitions, and was forced to make choices that I otherwise would not have. I spent the last couple of months of the year looking around at my life in bewilderment.

“How the heck did I get here!?”

There’s something inherently “clean slate” about the New Year. It’s like a fresh start, a new beginning - another chance to start over again. Hence the rush that happens the last week of every year, as people scrounge to come up with their New Year’s resolutions. I haven’t had one in several years. Now don’t get me wrong, I definitely think they can be a positive spark of change in a person’s life. I just think around this time of year, they’re something people do, because it’s what you’re supposed to do. That’s probably why only about 8% of people actually achieve their resolution. I’m a little turned off by making promises for promises sake. If I resolve to do something, I want to mean it and most importantly, I want to actually do it!

I’m a huge fan of dictionaries. I think we use way too many words that we don’t even really understand. Here are a few eye opening definitions…

Resolve – To come to a firm decision about something
Firm – Unyielding, solid, unlikely to give away, unbending

This year, for the first time in a long time I’m encouraging myself to make some
resolutions…Now it didn’t happen before January 1st like it’s supposed to. But I’ve really started thinking about some things I’d like to accomplish. I was having a little quiet time the other day when I thought…”What if this is the year I REALLY let God CHANGE my life?” What If I let him change the areas of my life that have grown familiar, comfortable, and stale? When I thought that, it hit me that I REALLY want to do that.

I really want to stop being scared of that.

I really want to open up my hands and surrender the things that I’ve been holding on to for so long.

Surrender – To yield, to the possession or power of another – To give up, to abandon
Abandon – To leave completely and FINALLY, to desert, to yield without restraint or moderation

That's my prayer for this year. That it would be a year that I yield without restraint or moderation. A year in which I completely abandon myself to all that God has for me...

Bring it on!

December

I've been such a bad blogger lately! No excuses! Here's what I've been up to...

December was a fun month. I got to participate in a 5K here in Vegas called The Santa Run. It was me and 14,000 other people dressed up like Santa, running a 5K. It really was one of the coolest things I did all year long! Here are some photo's...


I also spent the month of December as a Vegan! It all started when my vegetarian niece asked me to watch a video on YouTube called "Meet your Meat". Let's just say that after viewing it I had to sit down and have a long conversation with myself about consuming meat. So I decided to pledge to be Veg for 30 days. It was interesting. The biggest thing I learned is that it wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be to give up meat. Here's me having a Tofurky for Thanksgiving...


The 30 days are up, but I'm still hanging strong. Eating a cross between Vegan and Vegetarian...and I'm actually loving it!